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Posts Tagged ‘women’

Men and better drivers!? That too on Indian roads!?

In Minds and Mindsets on August 7, 2011 at 10:40 am

One breezy evening, my friends and I parked our butts on a concrete slab in our building compound. As we chit-chatted, we saw a young lady trying to park her car into her parking slot. The slot had a car parked on one side and low walls on the other two. While she was getting ready to park, we realized that it was the same lady who had attempted to park a minute ago but aborted the attempt when another car honked at her for blocking the narrow lane. (Yes, it’s normal to honk your ass off in India.) Freaked out, the lady drove round the building and came back to her original spot. Now calmer and ready to park, she slowly reversed into the slot and parked her car perfectly! While she was performing this task a friend exclaimed, “Say whatever you like, but women are dumb drivers!”

Alright, let’s assume that women are not-so-intelligent drivers. But guess who’ve been driving sluggish taxis on fast lanes? Men! Guess who’ve been driving on the slow lanes as though they are F1 racing tracks? Men! Guess who’ve been driving auto rickshaws as though traffic rules never existed in India? Men! Guess who’ve been driving BMWs and Mercedes as though they are derivatives of auto rickshaws? Men! Guess who’ve been driving trucks and buses as though they are, indisputably, motorbikes? Men! Guess who’ve been riding motorbikes as though the rest of the vehicles don’t exist? Men! Guess who’ve been perpetually abusing those very men and rashly overtaking them in a fit of rage? Men!

Wow! That must be man’s  dazzling display of intelligence!

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Back to Black

In Minds and Mindsets, My Files on July 31, 2011 at 8:55 pm

 

When I’m confused, I wear black and when I reach my destination, I discover that ninety percent of the population was as confused when they looked into their wardrobes. Dinners, parties, Saturday nights, clubbing, Halloween, rock concerts, be it anything, I know how most of us will turn up- black shirts, black t-shirts, overrated short black dresses, black gowns, black tunics, black shoes, black jeans, black jackets and some whites. Not that if you are wearing a white number you are any more creative than us. But the unspoken dress code seems to be black. “What are you wearing tonight?” is as good as asking “What colour are the wheels of your car?” Black!

We hail from a country (India) where every celebration is grand, and every party scene traditionally explodes with bright colours, electric hues, shimmer, glitter and shine. It is also a country where, once upon a time, blacks and whites didn’t even exist in one’s wardrobe. They were worn only to funerals or by widows. It’s a good thing that today blacks, whites and greys are experimented with but unfortunately they dominate our party wear. Sexy or not, classy or not, the lack of colour is beginning to bore me!

Nevertheless, tastes change, notions change and so do our styles. But let’s not confuse colours with outfits. I am not a fashion designer nor a model nor a stylist nor the editor of a fashion magazine but I can tell a black gown from a black nightgown. As for the guys, I can tell you were confused– black t-shirt with the superman logo versus plain black t-shirt, white t-shirt with the superman logo versus plain white t-shirt. But you finally settled for a black shirt. That must’ve been a difficult choice!

In the midst of this gloom a lonely red, yellow or green can’t help but scream, “Look at me!” and you’d probably be ousted if you turned up like this for a death metal concert. But it is just a celebration night and colour shall do you no harm. So break the black routine! For the unimaginative ones, I strongly recommend two pints of beer before you open your wardrobe next time. It will enable you to grow the much needed pair of balls to pick a coloured outfit.

P.S.: The sight of colour makes me so happy, I could cry!

The Size-Zero Rat-Crap

In Minds and Mindsets on May 10, 2011 at 3:31 pm

You must’ve noticed the sudden anti- size-zero movement in the fashion circuits. The fashion industry is suddenly averse to size-zero creatures, conveniently equating it with anorexia, based on their incomplete knowledge derived from nowhere in particular. Ever since size-zero has been kicked off the ramp there has been a frenetic hunt for the perfect number.

Today’s newspaper had several minds (ranging from the imbecilic to the almost-aware) debating over the perfect size of a woman following the UK fashion industry’s declaration that 14 is a perfect size. The desi fashion experts eventually zeroed down on the number “10” with each one expressing their views on health and beauty and all of that “stuff”.

Predictably, the moment the fashion industry expressed their disapproval of size-zero women, the other sizes used it as a platform to condemn, insult, and reprimand the number. Almost as though the large masses, by virtue of their poor self-images, were waiting to slash back at all the skinny women who made them feel fat and ugly without explicitly mentioning it.“You called me fat then! Now, I shall call you skinny! Haha!” That’s weird because it was never ok to call a large woman “fat” but now it is somehow alright to call a thin woman “skinny” and frown over it.

Cat-fights aside, standardizing beauty does not propagate wellbeing among women. Then again, propagating wellbeing doesn’t seem to be the intension. Fixing size-ten as a perfect size and considering the variety of shapes and sizes that women are available in, what makes you think that maintaining the number would be any less cumbersome? What makes you think it will eradicate self esteem issues? If calling size-zero models ugly (or unhealthy) makes you feel beautiful, it is most likely that you are a sadist.

In the midst of this debate, where does the concern over health creep in? Experts are merely clinging onto another number called the Body Mass Index (BMI). An adequate BMI does not free you of health hazards and potential breakdowns. If health is really a concern, hire health experts, have strict checkups, design standard routines and generate a report that certifies that a model is healthy before she sets foot onto the ramp. These procedures are not uncommon in military, sports, and various organizations and should be made an integral part of the modeling world as well. Consequently, instead of your report rejecting the diameter of your waist (or you BMI for that matter), it will reject your habits. At the end of the day, even if you are a size-ten, the checkups will keep a tab on your diet as well as your drug abuse despite the fact that it doesn’t show on your external body. Why? Scared you’ll be caught surviving on a beer diet?

The fact remains: Beauty cannot be standardized.

Women’s Day Special

In Random on March 8, 2011 at 3:48 pm

 

Today is Women’s Day and I want to write something about them. I don’t want to write about peacemakers and businesswomen and strong women and moms and grannies and all of that serious or cute stuff. I’ve just randomly picked five women (or group) that I’d like to say a line or two about.

Penelope Pitstop: All this woman has to do is get her make up right, bat her eyelashes and scream “Help!”  And we have seven men running to her rescue!

Pamela Anderson: She doesn’t even have to bat those lashes!

Powerpuff Girls: They don’t get infected by spiders. They don’t wear their undergarments over their super- heroine costumes. They don’t waste their time chasing jokers. Need I say more?

Lady Gaga: Is it an ogre? Is it a tumor? No. It’s Lady Gaga! Admit it! This woman is unbeatable!

Savita Bhabhi: (You were’nt hoping I’d give you a link here, now, were you?) I didn’t think two dimensional women could be so powerful. Nevertheless, I congratulate her for everything she has done and wish her all the very best for everything she wishes to do in future.

Okay. So, we are fat, thin, long, short and everything in between. We are created in various shapes, numbers and alphabets. We are capable of loving colors apart from black and blue. We are the greatest inspiration and the worst distraction man will ever come across. Deal with it!