K

Archive for the ‘Random’ Category

What’s in a name?

In Random on June 3, 2012 at 5:40 pm

myname is 

The professor called my name and three heads turned together. Then, he called the last name to clear the air and I breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t catch me doodling in my all-purpose notebook which, by the way, I predominantly used for doodling.

Sharing names is not fun, is it? “What were my folks thinking?” Well, most of us would like to have a unique name, at least in combination with our last name. But when you Google to discover twenty others (or more… sorry about that!) with the same last name, you know your email id will look something like tom_davic1357@blah.com or tisha.kn16@whatever.com

 At the end of the day your name is merely a sound you are trained to respond to. You’d turn your head to your name almost as often as you’d turn you head to a scream, a thud, a screech or a whistle and if you don’t it’s because it wasn’t loud enough. Interestingly, certain studies say that the most pleasant sound to any person’s ear is the sound of his/her name (provided it is the name he/she wishes to be called). So, you can call me…

Am I stressed?

In Random on February 24, 2012 at 10:44 pm

 

wall0
 I am staring at the rich, wine coloured wall that defines my living room. At the centre lies a painting so realistic, it makes me feel like I’m standing on the terrace of an old, two-floored building. The colours on the canvas compliment the red wine. And the lilac walls surrounding it are classy and low profile.

The guest room is green. The chequered wall is painted in four different shades of bright green. The wall in the master bedroom is green too. It is a deep fungus green with beige stripes. The other two beige walls tone the drama down to give the room a warm, earthy feel.

The last bedroom has a beautiful, textured wall in mango-yellow. And the bright, blood-red wall adjacent to it gives it tough competition.

So, my friend, which wall do you recommend I bang my head against?

The Five Large Scale Addictions

In Random on May 30, 2011 at 3:24 pm

Jeans:  Denims (or dungarees) were used as navy and prison uniforms in the 20th century until they caught the fancy of the youth. It is now an integral part of wardrobes, across generations. Aren’t we glad!

Chocolates: The seeds of Theobroma cacao have created a revolution of sorts. Chocolate continues to mollify women, lure kids, invade palettes and spark temptations. Its contribution to oral pleasure is commendable. The dessert menu is worthless without chocolate.

Mobile phones: They snap you out of sleep, they ring at the wrong places, they damage your brain, they make you impotent and you are probably on your way to suffering from TMI (Texting Message Injury) but you can’t get this device off you. Ask me the time and I’d rather consult a phone than a watch.

Television: From big boxes with tiny screens to large sleek Plasmas, LCDs and LEDs, they’ve come a long way. The journey from black n white to color to three dimensional (3D) to internet integrated televisions has only strengthened our addiction. If your house has a door, it is most likely it has a television.

Carbonated soft drinks: Gulping down carbon dioxide to eventually burp it out is quite a peculiar habit. Come to think of it, the drink neither elevates your mind nor visibly energizes you. It simply hooks you onto a tingle on the tongue. When soft drinks sell like hot cakes, you know life’s unfair!

A Secular Nation?!

In Minds and Mindsets, Random on May 16, 2011 at 2:40 pm

India is that secular country…

where political parties are staunch believers of “Divide and Rule” and are almost always successful at creating rifts between members of different regions and religions.

where a maharashtrian rickshawallah takes offence at being called “bhaiyya” but doesn’t mind being called “uncle.” (He’d rather be British than Bihari.)

where college admissions and recruitments are characterized by regional as well as religious quotas- Gujrati quota, Malyali quota, Catholic quota etc. (Especially in Mumbai where everybody is a minority.)

where residents of the Eastern part of India are called Chinese; at least until they blurt Hindi. The rest of India often has difficulty recalling the states in that area.

where the lower half of the country is called “South India” and the rest of India has no idea which “South Indian” language belongs to which “South Indian” state; for they all “sound” the same.

where we have gujjubens, doodwallah bhaiyyas, sindhi chors, maka pavs, parsi bawas, kanjoos marwadis, chinkies, madrasi annas, sardar jokes and so on.

where getting your children married to members of other regions (or religions) is a grave offence and can severely tarnish the family’s image or infuriate the Gods!

where some people still believe Muslims and Pakistanis are the same entity.

where people cannot survive the state (let alone the country) thus, giving rise to new states.

where whenever we talk about “unity in diversity” we give age old examples of fighting the British rule. (Uniting against a common enemy is not uncommon. It’s called “unity in adversity.”)

where the most recent example of “secularism” that we are surviving on is- a Christian giving her seat to a Sikh to rule a Hindu dominated country. (If awareness doesn’t prevail, we’ll be using this example for an awfully long time.)

Jai Hind!

In Your Words

In Random on May 2, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Motivation, agitation, instigation, inspiration, aggression, greed and bias can evoke a revolution if you are armed with words. So, if you want to effectuate change, being a good orator will help. He who has learned the art of grabbing ears has earned the opportunity to create a revolution by infusing a goal, an opinion, or an emotion into the listeners’ minds. He plants a clear thought that can be nurtured in brains of varying caliber. He plays around with the thought knowing or unknowingly. As a result, even the wisest man cheers with the crowd, curses with the crowd, prays with the crowd, sings the national anthem with the crowd and lets himself get carried away by the immense energy of the floating thought, intentionally dropped into the sea of minds by the speaker. The damage is done. The outcome of a Gandhi and that of an Adolf Hitler is yours to see.

I Refuse To Buy Your Product Bugger!

In Random on March 25, 2011 at 2:55 pm

After a mind-numbing day at work I always hope to listen to decent music on the radio. I keep flipping the channels and am greeted by RJs. Some sound furious, some sound excited, some sound unconcerned, some sound terribly bored and some try to get the accent right. If the RJs are not rambling, the channels are playing ads. I flip, flip, flip… It’s a long wait before I hear the sound of music.

After crawling through severe traffic, I hope to catch up on some entertaining shows on television; something funny or anything that has a substantial script or a sensible storyline. That’s hard to find alright! But when I do find it, I have to deal with the following pattern:

8:00-8:05 PM   Show
8:05-8:10 PM   Advertisements
8:10-8:15 PM   Show
8:15-8:20 PM   Advertisements
8:20-8:25 PM  Show
8:25-8:30 PM   Advertisements

Fifteen minutes of absolute nonsense infused in a thirty minute show (possibly nonsense) is like maneuvering my mind through unnecessary garbage.

I am expected to watch some pretty woman dance with a bar of soap or watch her facial polka dots disappear magically or watch a picture perfect guy spray aerosols accompanied by a “come to bed with me” look. Alright, I will watch it. Let me assure you I get the point the first time around. Do you really need me to watch it over and over and over again? It’s another story if you’ve come up with an intelligent ad, or a hilarious one or a simple, classy one or just an artistic one. I’d like to thank you for being kind to your viewers. But I’m sorry I can’t laugh at the same jokes or appreciate your work or be amused by your product thrice in a span of five minutes. Moreover, ads played back-to-back are very unpleasant. “Buy my product. I repeat, buy my product!”

If our government were to ban the products that mentioned hypothetical (and fancy) “active agents” present in it such as cooling crystals, hair root healing agents, whitening pearls, growth agents etc., it would spell doomsday for most brands. Researches probably watch this stuff and laugh their guts out -“Whitening pearls! Are you kidding me?”

We desperately need new generation televisions with algorithms that can tide over ads. Probably go mute when ads pop up or switch to another channel in a pre-saved list. Even truncate ads and append one part of the show to the other, if required. This way, advertisers will have to find other methods to bother us. Until then, I’ve decided that if an ad troubles me too often, I shall not purchase their product and services. It’s my way of saying- “I don’t give you the liberty to irritate me endlessly when I switch on the TV to entertain myself and de-stress. I shall ban your product in return.”

Women’s Day Special

In Random on March 8, 2011 at 3:48 pm

 

Today is Women’s Day and I want to write something about them. I don’t want to write about peacemakers and businesswomen and strong women and moms and grannies and all of that serious or cute stuff. I’ve just randomly picked five women (or group) that I’d like to say a line or two about.

Penelope Pitstop: All this woman has to do is get her make up right, bat her eyelashes and scream “Help!”  And we have seven men running to her rescue!

Pamela Anderson: She doesn’t even have to bat those lashes!

Powerpuff Girls: They don’t get infected by spiders. They don’t wear their undergarments over their super- heroine costumes. They don’t waste their time chasing jokers. Need I say more?

Lady Gaga: Is it an ogre? Is it a tumor? No. It’s Lady Gaga! Admit it! This woman is unbeatable!

Savita Bhabhi: (You were’nt hoping I’d give you a link here, now, were you?) I didn’t think two dimensional women could be so powerful. Nevertheless, I congratulate her for everything she has done and wish her all the very best for everything she wishes to do in future.

Okay. So, we are fat, thin, long, short and everything in between. We are created in various shapes, numbers and alphabets. We are capable of loving colors apart from black and blue. We are the greatest inspiration and the worst distraction man will ever come across. Deal with it!

I don’t talk much. I plan to change that.

In Random on February 3, 2011 at 1:59 pm

I have always been the quiet one in class, in my group, at work, everywhere. I still am unless I am drunk or caught in a debate. I am the skinny creature who has to sit with the largest creature on the school bench, in the car, on the bike because nobody else fits. You will often find my miniature bum next to the heaviest bum in the room. So, if you think I am socially inept, it’s because there is no “room” for socializing.  

Coming back to the quiet bit, I’ve been working on my conversation skills off late. No. Actually, I’ve been working on my disinterest in conversations. You see, some of us love to talk endlessly about anything and everything random, abstract or meaningless “stuff”. But some of us don’t see the point in discussing that piece of information, thought, opinion or “stuff”. I belong to the latter category.

I’ve thankfully been flanked by very talkative personalities who, by virtue of their talkativeness, don’t expect sound emissions from my mouth. That allows me to be the spectator or the mysterious “wise one”.  I don’t mind that. At times, they can be very inquisitive but they are skilled at satisfying their own inquisitiveness. So they ask questions about themselves and answer it themselves or ask questions about you and switch topics before you can respond. And no, they are not rhetorical questions. The talkative folks are the “self entertainers” that I can only dream of being.

We silent folks, on the other hand, may seem socially incompetent but that’s not because we are incapable of talking. We don’t see why conversations with predictable outcomes need our intervention. Neither do we understand why people with short term memory ask questions when they are disinterested in the answer. We don’t know why we must narrate a 30 minute long chapter based on a two minute squabble we had with our partners. When asked what we like about a movie, we like being specific. We don’t like to recount and enact the entire story. We can’t fathom how a facebook status and the subsequent comments can be expressed as a significant event and explained in minute detail. We don’t twitter to be followed. We don’t get how your encounter with the hot neighbor gains entry into our conversation for the seventh time in a week. The basic difference is we don’t ask you what’s up because we don’t want to know what’s up and you don’t want to know what’s up with us either yet you ask, “What’s up?”

Anyway, I’ve decided to alter this domain of my life. I guess it’s good to be expressive and broadcast your opinion. It will only tell me how many of us are on the same page. If a social networking status can be made amusing then why not? If an argument can be replayed, if a movie can be re-dramatized, if a hot neighbor can be revisited, then why not do it? Not all conversations will be productive and why should they? I’ve come to the conclusion that a large part of our lives is made up of “kill time” conversations. Our silence through these doesn’t count as “productive”.