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I can judge you by the way you…

In Minds and Mindsets on October 2, 2011 at 11:59 am

Scrutiny is inevitable when walking into a pool full of new faces. A judgement begins with an assumption and is eventually proved right or wrong. As far as human behaviour is concerned, it’s just a rough estimation. Most of us believe we make accurate judgements of a personality but few of us admit that our judgment is trash. Every nascent relationship is about giving chances; several chances. Ideally, you say nice things, they say nice things, you say stupid things, they say stupid things, you are mean, and they are mean. Sometimes you are nice but they are mean and vice versa. There is a lot of room for misunderstandings and misinterpretations. But after several awkward interactions you enter a phase of comfort interactions and eventually stabalize. That level of stabalization is your relationship with the person. It is this relationship that you are going to build upon.

All through graduation and post graduation we’ve been groomed to develop formal relationships; get interview-ready. A lot is said about body language, attires, presentations, etc. followed by several trainings and lists of do’s and don’ts under the pretext of personality development. The question is what parts of our personality does appropriate decoration intend to develop? Our focus is currently on generating “say the right thing, do the right thing, behave the right way” puppets. In such a situation when people say they are looking for something unique, it makes me wonder why they are looking for “something unique” on an assembly line! If you really think about it, why should the onus of your poor judgement come on the opposition? If you judge a book by its cover, it doesn’t become the books fault!

Currently people around me claim to be great leaders, great communicators, and great listeners and they probably are. They are also confident, intelligent, proactive, outgoing and all the greatness you can think of. But you are what your strengths and weaknesses make you. Your essence, your originality lies there. Yet, you are wise to never disclose your weakness and I know you will never disclose yourself. But I hope you know that this means we might never know each other.

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