Archive for August, 2011|Monthly archive page

I choose beef. Not that I mind multiple partners!

In Dissecting Life on August 27, 2011 at 10:45 am

Religious advertising campaigns are an open secret. Each religion gives you a book of stories and you get to choose which one you’d like to believe. Or let’s say you get to decide which one of them qualifies as non-fiction in your head. While one gives you the opportunity to go to heaven, the other guarantees your rebirth. While one let’s you take an eye for an eye, the other compels you to forgive. Yet another ensures that what goes around comes around (So, sit back and have some popcorn.). While one guarantees you multiple partners in heaven (bang on target!), the other guarantees you freedom from all desires. While one says God is around you, the other says He is inside you. While one stops you from consuming alcohol, the other stops you from eating beef and yet another stops you from eating roots. You also get to choose whether you’d like to be buried, burnt or eaten by vultures, when you say your last sayonara. If you are an atheist, you have choices too! You get to rot in hell unless of course hell lies at the centre of the earth in which case you have no choice but to get roasted, or you get to be reborn as a pig and chewed by pork eaters.

Converting? Anyone?


How We Painted Vi’s Wall

In Art, My Files on August 25, 2011 at 6:40 pm

Back home, after six long years of educating herself, my friend wanted her room to look bright and inviting, both for herself and the kids she provides therapy to. My job was to make that happen. This was our first time. Before experimenting, we thought it a good idea to get together and make a rough plan.


Wall1 Plan


wall plan

Wall2 Plan

From the plans you must’ve figured that Vi is a diehard green digger.

Fortunately, Vi didn’t want the paints to last forever and neither of us wanted to get into any scraping, primer formalities. So, the boring work went right out the window.

On a not-so-happening Saturday we planned to meet up somewhere and buy some paints from somewhere. We walked in unsure of what type of paints to ask for. On a random guy’s advice we settled for water based wall paints that dry in four hours flat. The colour palette didn’t have all the colours we were looking for, so, we replaced them with new colours. We bought a few brushes and rollers, drank some sugarcane juice and headed straight home. We also invited a few friends to help us out with the painting but only Hem seemed excited about an overnight project.

A bit of lazing, a glass of tang, a plate of pasta and a few television shows later we got the room ready for a makeover. By then the third member of the clan had arrived and we were ready to paint the town green.

First, we divided wall1 into four parts with a paper tape to get it ready for the four green stripes. The opposite wall didn’t look any different so I didn’t bother putting it up.


tapes on wall1



The first stroke at midnight


Two coats later, the base for wall2 is ready.



getting the colours ready for wall1



stripe1 down



stripe2 down

We stopped at 5:30 am and left the paints to dry. In the mean time we slept and got back to work at 9:30 am.


Next two stripes down!


Second coat, tapes off and here we are!


Next, we used buckets, bowls of varying sizes to create the pattern of circles on wall2. For very large circles, we used a rope as a rounder– used one end as the center and held a pencil at the other end.


painting the circles



painting some more circles



and some more

We applied a second coat to the circles and wound up at around 4:30 pm. I decided to leave the detailing for the next day ‘cause my hand was far from steady and I needed sleep.


Detailing begins with Vi’s sun sign—Pisces…



…followed by Vi’s favourite fruit – grapes…



…followed by Vi’s favourite dancing instrument- ghungroo.



Vi signs her wall



So do I!

We made a seperate section for handprints. Hem left us half way, so she has yet to leave her handprints. Anyway, this is what the completed wall looks like.



Men and better drivers!? That too on Indian roads!?

In Minds and Mindsets on August 7, 2011 at 10:40 am

One breezy evening, my friends and I parked our butts on a concrete slab in our building compound. As we chit-chatted, we saw a young lady trying to park her car into her parking slot. The slot had a car parked on one side and low walls on the other two. While she was getting ready to park, we realized that it was the same lady who had attempted to park a minute ago but aborted the attempt when another car honked at her for blocking the narrow lane. (Yes, it’s normal to honk your ass off in India.) Freaked out, the lady drove round the building and came back to her original spot. Now calmer and ready to park, she slowly reversed into the slot and parked her car perfectly! While she was performing this task a friend exclaimed, “Say whatever you like, but women are dumb drivers!”

Alright, let’s assume that women are not-so-intelligent drivers. But guess who’ve been driving sluggish taxis on fast lanes? Men! Guess who’ve been driving on the slow lanes as though they are F1 racing tracks? Men! Guess who’ve been driving auto rickshaws as though traffic rules never existed in India? Men! Guess who’ve been driving BMWs and Mercedes as though they are derivatives of auto rickshaws? Men! Guess who’ve been driving trucks and buses as though they are, indisputably, motorbikes? Men! Guess who’ve been riding motorbikes as though the rest of the vehicles don’t exist? Men! Guess who’ve been perpetually abusing those very men and rashly overtaking them in a fit of rage? Men!

Wow! That must be man’s  dazzling display of intelligence!

Which category of respect do you belong to?

In Minds and Mindsets on August 6, 2011 at 11:39 am

You fall into one of the four categories of respectful conduct.

#1 You respect when they “earn” respect.
#2 You respect until they “lose” respect.
#3 You respect everybody irrespective of whether they earn it or lose it.
#4 What’s respect?

If you belong to the first category, it means you respect nobody but few. The people you believe you respect are most likely your seniors, or of certain advantage to you or belong to the same category (team, belief system, locality, etc.) as you. In short, most of you are putting up with a lot of arse kissing, ego massaging and belief building.

If you belong to the second category, it means you respect everybody but few. You respect irrespective of age, sex, economic status, social status, race, ethnicity etc. You will respect until one does something that makes one unworthy of respect.

If you belong to the third category, it means you respect even the ones who have lost respect. Your motto- Respect, period. (Wow, you must be something!)

If you belong to the fourth category… never mind.

Point being, we don’t propagate unconditional respect the way we propagate unconditional love.